The Final Hour
by FightForToday
Summary: Orphaned at the tail end of the Third War, Kotone's past was as bad anyone else's and the older she gets, the less she understands about who she is. And in a world where killing is a profession and every battle could be the last, there is no room for weakness, but not even Kotone can avoid forming bonds that will carry her through her last moments.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh boy, it's been a long time since I've uploaded a fic. This is going to pretty OC-centric, but some characters will be taking heavily involved roles. I'll try to keep author notes at the end of chapters, so without further ado, enjoy.**

Her world was never a joy at every moment of the day, she did not win every fight nor avoid the taint of death that riddled every shinobi. She lost battles, she lost friends, family. People didn't win every fight, no matter what kind (although far in the future, unbeknown to most, a Naruto Uzumaki would challenge that notion).

Today's final hour, a first of many, Kotone Matsushita was just another child desperately trying to be something more than what she was. She hit the ground with her knees sinking in the dirt, the world bared its heavy truth on her shoulders. This was where her chances would end. She failed.

Konoha was known for its pleasant weather almost year round, but when it rained, it was worse than the Village Hidden in the Mist. The water pelted those below it, harsh and fast, stinging anyone without cover. Kotone trembled in anger. Her body was exhausted beyond anything she had ever experienced; the fight had been taken out of her and it was all she could do not to cry in front of her lame team and genin proctor.

"Do you think this is some game in the Academy where if you lose, it's all good and well?"

Kotone swallowed hard trying to think of a retort.

"You're all brats, every single one of you, you don't understand anything about being a shinobi for village. You live for this village, you die for it. No enemy will show you mercy because of age and trust me if they do, you'd rather be dead then come back being spared. This," A hand gestured toward Kotone, "is what a _child_ would do. You're best isn't good enough and what do you do, you cry."

"I am not crying!" She snarled, throwing her arm out and spraying up mud.

"You couldn't even come close to touching me, let alone land an attack. You two, you left each other for dead, no attempt at team work again. It's pathetic. Shinobi who refuse to help comrades are worse than scum." Finally, he made a comment to the boys behind Kotone who were curling their lips in annoyance. "I am not going to pass genin who cannot work together."

She was shaky, her muscles screamed at her movement, but Kotone managed to stand. "What do you know! You're damn right we can't touch you, you're some G-d damn ANBU! If you expect us to fight on your level, then of course we won't win! Screw them, we both know they can't work with people! How is that fair to me when they won't even look my way as far as teams go!"

The eye staring at her was cold. "Life isn't fair."

"I know that!" Her voice became hoarse.

Her second year as a potential genin and her team failed her again. At thirteen, Kotone was absolutely mortified to not have been promoted. It was her luck to be put with the same instructor who within moments of meeting her the first time decided she wasn't destined to make the cut. She knew she had other things working against her, she always had, but to have this ripped from her hands was cruel.

No one attempted to help her up. The proctor vanished instantly after his verdict and her team walked past her with sneers, she heard them mutter insults toward her and one another, something about them not caring about being a shinobi if they had to always get yelled at.

She was left alone in the field to smash her fists into the ground once more in a broken rage. She was supposed to make her mom proud. In fact, Kotone felt sure the sky's tears were her mother's, cold and enveloping Kotone's failure.

And from where the Fourth and Third Hokage stood, their sighs were simultaneous.

"She isn't too blame." Minato immediately argued. He was more than aware his student's disposition was far from good and most definitely not ready to be testing children practically his own age.

"She's a liability. And a heavy expense." Sarutobi noted.

"We haven't seen another person with her potential since the prodigies, Kotone has talent and a strong lineage, it just needs time."

The Third, while not disagreeing, needed to question it further. "However, she isn't a prodigy and this was her team's second attempt."

"Kakashi isn't himself, but he's all we had available in the way of jounin. That girl deserves a chance with a real team and a proctor who doesn't see those he lost in her."

"What about the money? She has no one to pay for what she needs."

"Then I'll set up a fund."

A chuckle came from the Third. "A child of your own on the way and you want to pay for another?"

Minato's eyes lit up. His mind was rapidly turning gears, a plan forming; what Kakashi Hatake needed was a purpose that truly protected a life, not ended it. He'd let him watch over Kushina. It needed to be done anyway as a precaution and this was the perfect opportunity. As for Kotone, her potential couldn't be overlooked. Minato would make sure that those who deserved better would get a shot at it, even if cost him everything.


	2. Chapter 2

"You have a visitor, Kotone." A nurse stood by the doorway scribbling down notes.

"A visitor?" The only people who came to her room were medical ninja interested in her recovery speed. Her thumb rubbed over the bandage where the IV needle had been earlier that day.

Since being denied a genin team, Kotone had spent the last few months training on her own, which was how she ended up in the hospital. While she sensed she should've stopped, she didn't. Without a jounin to guide her, there wasn't anyone to tell her it was time to take a breather. Instead, she wound up with a gash on her arm that brought her here.

She was incredibly bitter over her exams, but unaware of the extenuating circumstances surrounding them. Kotone was unfortunate enough to have taken exams in a time where the council was quickly trying to sort through riffraff and those who were to be put on a fast track to the military. Teams were built based on skills, test scores and projected success rates, but with so many children being thrusted into the academy during the war, by the time it had ended, there were far more kids who didn't want or need to be there then who were.

Behind the nurse, a shinobi Kotone didn't recognize came forward. His face was completely void of emotion.

"Kotone Matsushita?"

"Yes?"

"You registered for a third Academy final."

Her cheeks went pink knowing what was coming. "…Yes."

"There is only one retake allowed in order to receive full genin status. Are you aware of that?"

The pink blossomed to an embarrassed red spreading across pale and hollow cheeks. She knew. She knew because she studied everything twice. Even so, she registered for the exam a third time. The worse they could tell her was no.

"Yeah. I thought maybe…" She trailed off, ready to accept her future as a failed kunoichi.

"Your independent scores qualify you for a reserve position within Konoha. Are you aware of this information?"

"What? A reserve?"

"You will be granted your genin status without a team. Genin may not participate in field operations without a team or accompanying jounin or chunin instructor. It is expected of you to take exams every month to make sure independent training is being successful, you must still be in good physical condition and growing as a kunoichi. Should any genin teams passed within a three-year buffer on both sides require a permanent replacement, you will fill the role."

Her eyes widened taking in it all in. This was a chance she couldn't say no to and still her hesitation was apparent to the man.

"What happens if there isn't a team within in the next three years? And these tests, how am I gonna train without a jounin or team? Or field experience? I'll be useless if I'm thrown onto a team without any of that." She rambled feeling sick to her stomach.

It was so close, the first step was so close, yet it killed her to think of every reason she would fail.

He interjected. "You will have to find an instructor on your own time."

That set Kotone off. "Where the hell am I supposed get the money for that!? I barely can keep my apartment with what the Village Orphans Act gives me, plus the money I owe for tuition, I can't pay that back without being a field operative! And I'm not stupid, I mean, if I get really hurt…"

Kotone and the unnamed messenger's eyes flickered the IV bag and blood transfusion.

When she was little she had been told that she was a carrier for hemophilia, and if she chose a civilian life it would never affect her. Minor cuts would heal just fine; some rough housing would be perfectly okay because it didn't affect women the same way it did men. As a ninja, her risk level would be about the same as any male. Kotone distinctly remembered looking into her mother's eyes as she said "I want to go to the Academy."

"That was taken into consideration. A patron has decided to leave you funds for medicinal help. If you can manage everything else, your medical needs will be covered."

She let out a noise of surprise.

Up until now Kotone appeared fragile with the white hospital gown swallowing her up but the messenger was far too smart to judge by appearances. No, he figured she was like a rare handful of ninja passed through the system: fighters at the bottom of a pit who were given enough light to see there had been a rope dangled above their heads when they were damn well ready to claw their way to the top the whole time. Being offered a reserve position meant the council considered her an asset too valuable to lose.

There was hardly a pause long enough to say Kotone had mulled over it before her response. "I'll do it."

"Excellent. The Hokage will expect you in his office to sign paperwork at 6 a.m."

Kotone nodded. "Okay."

* * *

At promptly five a.m. Kotone was out of her hospital bed getting dressed for the day. Paperwork was menial, sure, but it was her first step to becoming stronger. For the longest time she had always wanted to become a kunoichi for her mother's sake, because her mother was a good chunin and told Kotone stories about her father's incredible strength and sacrifice.

Rumors of people Kakashi lost one way or another had reached Kotone's ears explaining his harsh distaste for her team and perhaps her, but it was no excuse. It was why now more than ever, Kakashi's words burned. She had watched enemy kunai plunge into her mother's chest until her red, gurgled words became all that plagued Kotone at night. Kakashi had no right to assume that Kotone didn't understand the reality of the world they lived in; there was no ninja who did not know seemingly insufferable pain, it was a matter of when they would know it..

She never wanted to be that helpless again, to watch the only person in her life disappear in the blink of an eye and be left all alone. Never again would someone precious to her die because of her uselessness.

The other side of that argument always rose up (which was often considering how many hours she was left to dwell on these things) and put her constant turmoil. 'You can support comrades and work in a team without getting close. Friends die. Loved ones die. They all die. You're better off alone."

Her thoughts were disrupted by a gentle voice.

"Are you excited to be a genin?" Emiko asked setting a tray of food down on the nightstand.

Kotone smiled to her nurse as she brushed her hair back into a ponytail. "Yeah."

"I'm glad."

"Me too."

It didn't take long for Kotone to eat and slip on her shoes. Her pack was tied hastily to upper thigh. Before Emiko could offer a good luck, the girl was out the hospital doors and running to the building that was the pride and joy of the Leaf.

Kotone's eyes darted around the streets noticing how many more people were around since the end of the war, more specifically, how many were ninja. Her pace slowed down. She was positive that those who were in the war had a far more noticeable signature to their chakra then the few around who hadn't seen battles.

When familiar dirt street turned into a graveled entry way with a garden boxes surrounding the outside, Kotone stared upward with a new sense of awe. She was seeing this office as someone who was to be a genin.

She walked to the guard at the door. "I'm supposed to sign paperwork this morning with the Fourth Hokage."

"He's in his office. Knock before going in."

"Thanks." Her feet carried her through the long corridors until she reached the room with name labeled.

Hesitantly, she raised her hand. Once she was through the door her life would no longer be her own. The fear of someone holding the issue of money over head loomed and she couldn't put that past the council after the horror stories of the war she heard. Konoha, though good in pretense, would do whatever it needed to in order to survive, which included a lifetime debt only repayable by Kotone's absolute loyalty..

Kotone hadn't realized she actually knocked until there was a "Come in!"

Shaking the thoughts as best she could, she inhaled deeply. She wanted to serve her village.

The moment she stepped in she was greeted by a beaming blonde, the Fourth Hokage was smiling warmly, his eyes crinkling in the corner. She wanted to be soothed by the inviting face, but why feel at home when it wasn't one?

"Kotone, am I right?"

She nodded.

"Take a seat and we'll get started." He leaned forward as she sat. "Between you and me, it's way too early for this. I don't know who schedules these things."

The corner of her mouth quirked up in good nature amusement.

Minato opened a folder and pulled out a good sized set of documents. "So, you're agreeing to genin reserve status?"

She nodded again.

"Any questions before we starting filling this stuff out?"

"What happens if there isn't a team in a three year buffer?"

"There will be. While it's a great thought, we aren't quite blessed enough for that."

"I was told… someone is paying for medicine?"

"Ah, yes, it says anonymous patron."

"I can't know who it is? I want to thank them."

A twinkle appeared in Minato's eyes. "I'm sure they know you're thankful."

As long as Minato had a say, Kotone would never know he was putting up the cash for her. He didn't want her to feel indebted to anyone, especially not the Hokage. What he wanted was to see Kotone grow into a kunoichi that would help change and protect the village. Her results in the Academy training showed she had a good ability for predicting the moves of her opponents quickly based on the strength of their chakra. It allowed her to avoid injuries stemmed from her condition and come up with a counter measure based on her opponent's strength level. In general, her instincts on battlefields were some of the best from someone this young. Of course, her summoning jutsu didn't hurt.

Part of Minato had wished they had more children like her during the war, but the thought was cut short. No, if he could've helped it no child would be placed in that situation, no matter how skilled.

"Is that everything?" Minato asked.

"The boy who failed me, Kakashi Hatake…" Kotone licked her lips nervously when she felt the shift in the air. She sighed, suddenly too worried about what would happen if she asked. "Never mind, I guess it isn't important."

The pair leaned across the desk from opposite sides and made their way down the lists on the papers, signature there, initial here. Each minute passing was another that Kotone realized Minato truly cared about the Leaf. He made jokes, asked Kotone questions, anything he could do to know more about Kotone and what her dreams were, he did. By the time they finished Kotone struggled to believe the government could be run so corruptly when a man like Minato was sitting at the top, but then again, he didn't install the programs or the rules, just enforced them.

After the final initialing, Kotone bowed with thanks and left to go have her I.D. made. Her first D-Ranked mission of weeding flower beds would start in a week.

From outside the open window, Kakashi came inside.

"How did she know I was here?"

"She didn't." Minato confirmed and rapidly changed the subject. "Any news?"

Kakashi's voice was deadpan. "Lady Kushina would like… pickle and strawberry ramen."

Minato gagged. "Oh lord, well, go ahead and get whatever she wants. I'll pay you back."

"Right."

"And Kakashi," Minato waited for the boy to pause, "Thank you for doing this."

The young ANBU only nodded in response.

* * *

 **To the people who have favorited and followed this story already, thank you so much omfg.  
I'll try to at least update every week or two, but it really depends on how much semester final prep I'll be doing in the next month of or so (haha rip me :') ) Reviews are always nice! **


	3. Chapter 3

Kotone's chest barely rose as she inhaled, straining her other senses as hard as she could. She counted off on in her head. _One._ Breathe out. _Two._ Breathe in. _Three._ Breathe out.

The kunai spun around her finger and then flew forward at a blinding speed. With a thud it lodged itself half an inch away from the bullseye. She let out a frustrated shout. Every mark was closer than the last and at the least consistent within the ring around the center point, but that wasn't enough. She needed the kind of accuracy and precision that could hit exactly where she wanted at any time.

Four weeks had dragged by since her enstatement as a reserve kunoichi, so she was taking advantage of her break from D- ranked gardening. Kotone yanked another kunai from her pouch agitated and forced chakra to her hands. Her fingers buzzed feeling the intense energy flow through them.

Her eyes glanced down to the pages by her feet. She began murmuring the words back to herself. "With chakra in your hands place the kunai it's throwing position as shown in chapter one…Use diagram two to see what the chakra should look like under your skin."

Kotone took another breath in and then threw the weapon. It had the same results.

She kicked the book across the grass.

"It's your foot position."

She froze, slowly turning to look at the person behind her. A shinobi wearing a flak jacket looked at her pointedly and she found herself startled by the pupil-less eyes.

"When throwing your feet need to be further apart and angle the right foot in more."

She nodded slowly before doing as told. Her eyes narrowed at the red dot that had been taunting her and flung the kunai. Her mouth parted when it hit dead center.

"You should've learned that at the Academy."

"Ah… they kinda rushed the lesson, as long as we could hit the enemy it was good enough."

For a moment he said nothing, but his eyes never left her. "You have a protector, are you a genin?"

"I'm a reserve." She stated flatly, however, her voice picked up emotion quickly. "Why did you help me?"

"You looked tired, like you've been working hard and it's frustrating to see no results."

"Yeah." She admitted, "but thank you…"

"Shiro."

"Thanks, Shiro-sensei." Her lips formed a smile.

He raised a brow at the added honorific. Did she already know he was a jounin-sensei? Surely the girl wasn't _that_ advanced in her intelligence work, though he had been told she spent an awful lot of time in the library to make up for the lack of a team. No. He decided it was Kotone being polite. Her eyes looked too sincere to be hiding information.

"Of course. I hope you'll keep training hard like this."

Those eyes, almost impossibly dark, betrayed her every emotion. Shiro could see the excitement from the praise, but then again, most kids thrived off such things, so it couldn't be held against her.

* * *

"So?" Minato prompted looking over the student files once again.

Shiro nodded. "I think she'd balance out their team, but she'd give them an advantage, wouldn't she? She knows exactly what we're looking for in the exam."

"Well, a head start just means less time teaching them the principle of teamwork."

"Technically, she shouldn't be taking the exam a third time either."

Minato put his face into hands. He wanted Kotone on a team as soon as possible and he would never deny students a chance for an exam because there was an even number of kids who passed their Academy exams rather than the odd numbers that created threes. They deserved something for hard work. His head snapped up.

"Then she can meet with them prior to their test, they'll do a two on one for the bell. Someone will tell her she cannot directly tell them what the test is trying to accomplish. Does that work?"

"...Even without a loophole, you manage to find one."

"Anything for the next generation." The Hokage grinned.

Shiro smiled back. What he saw through byakugan was earlier impressive, her chakra had surged to her hand in a speed not many ninja of her age could do. From what he read in her file, Kotone's chakra system was far more extensive than her normal circulatory. It was assumed to be a side affect of her hemophilia, but no one in the medical team knew for sure. The conditions rarity never warranted studying until after the death of Kotomi Matsushita left her ten year old daughter in the care of the shinobi system.

* * *

"Come on, come on, when do we start?" Iruka bounced excitedly. "Who did they choose from the Academy to join?"

Mizuki was anxious to meet their new teammate. His leg wouldn't stop shaking. Their academy teacher rubbed his temple wishing Kotone would arrive to keep his, hopefully, soon to be former students from going crazy.

The door creaked open causing the boys to sit straight up in a single breath. Kotone felt just nervous, the people beyond the door would truly determine her entire future.

Narrowing his eyes, Mizuki said. "She isn't from our class"

"Mizuki, Iruka Umino, meet Kotone Matsushita. She will be the new member of Team Six."

Mizuki threw his arm to point at her. "I recognize you. You were a few classes ahead of us, weren't you?"

"Yeah. I was a reserve until now."

The Academy instructor made his exit leaving the kids to become acquainted.

"So… you've taken the test?" Iruka prompted.

"Twice, so I can't take this exam with you guys." She looked into their eyes. Kotone needed them to understand, to realize how much this meant to her. Her stare, however, made the boys blush. "You have to promise me you'll both pass together."

Iruka stepped forward to meet her, grabbing Mizuki to drag to up toward Kotone as well. He grinned. "Of course we'll pass! We can't let our new teammate down! Right, Mizuki?"

Mizuki fought to hide his twitch from Iruka holding him in such a friendly manner, but managed to plaster a smile over his face. "Of course. What else are friends for?"

Kotone blinked at their declarations taking a step back, she hadn't expected them to be so willing. And that word. Friends. She wasn't opposed to her team being friends, but how could they say such a thing without knowing her? Her only reference was her former team, all selfish bastards, and Kakashi who had cut everyone out because he let people in. She wanted to understand why Mizuki and Iruka were the total opposite. What was different?

"I'm starving, we should all get food! My mom gave me some money so I can pay for us!" Iruka now had a hold on Kotone's arm too and took off running with the others flailing behind him.

Shop owners yelled at the group when their feet kicked up dirt behind them as they sprinted through the village. Mizuki shouted for Iruka to slow down, but Iruka only burst into laughter. Kotone found the sound infectious and started to giggle. Mizuki rolled his eyes, but a smile was on the corner of his mouth.

In the small noodle shop, Iruka immediately ordered for the three of them, knowing exactly what kind of food Mizuki liked and making the recommendation for Kotone.

Iruka couldn't feel more excited. He couldn't wait to receive his forehead protector and show his parents, hell, he nearly couldn't contain his excitement that Mizuki was on his team and that their teammate was someone who seemed as cool as Kotone.

Between Mizuki and Kotone, Iruka knew he had a lot of growing to do, but the challenge to become as strong as them was one he was up for.

"Yeah, this one time I got a whoopie cushion under our teacher. His face was priceless!"

"And then you had detention for four days."

"Worth it!"

"Your parents grounded you!"

Iruka shoved Mizuki playfully. "Still worth it!"

Mizuki readjusted his bandanna with a snort.

Kotone observed the dynamic duo she had been thrown into. The boys bantered the whole meal, breaking into laughter every few minutes that Kotone couldn't help but mimic. Every time she laughed, the other two laughed harder. There was rising feeling in Kotone's chest that she had never felt before. She couldn't think of a time she ever felt this happy.

"Kotone, what was your old team like?" Iruka looked at her.

"They were selfish." She left out the stronger words. Even in the beginning she hadn't loved her team, but figured she would grow to like them. "They don't matter now."

"Oh." Iruka smiled once more. "Well, I'm glad you're our new teammate!"

"Me too."

By the time they finished eating the threads of fate were set in motion.

Three days later, Team Six stood in front of one Shiro Hyuuga ready for their first mission.

* * *

 **I know it might seem slow, but things will be picking up pretty soon! And for the most part this should follow canon story line, but you know, creative liberties and all that haha. As always, reviews are incredibly welcomed!**


	4. Chapter 4

The Fourth Hokage handed the file over to Shiro. "Your mission is to take maps for some proposed expansions of the village to a contractor in the Daimyo's estate. This is will be your first C-rank mission."

All three genins' eyes lit up.

Shiro nodded at Minato when Iruka and Mizuki wanted to take off immediately, giving his thanks to the Leaf's leader and then followed after the rambunctious preteens.

Minato fell back into his chair exhausted, running his hand under the headdress. He barely had the chance to go home long enough to sleep, often crashing at his desk and leaving Kushina alone with Kakashi. The stress of having a child on the way was compounded with the concern classified files on his desk. People were worried over the jinchuriki. People were worried that the war wasn't really over. And recently, more and more intel was trickling in about an Uchiha coup d'état.

Momentarily, his thoughts wandered to the team he had just sent away; how intensively Shiro had been training his students the last few months? Very few teams were now making the cut for genin. Another source of stress: the curriculum needed an overhaul. The war was over; churning out every child into the field was pointless and dangerous. What Minato wanted was a strong village built of people who were knowledgeable and ready for whatever would come their way. If he was lucky, one of three that left would become a shinobi with the will do whatever it would take to make their village survive. He didn't want to be prejudice, but his own bet was on Kotone; her file (also among the classified on his desk), however, haunted him. His body was set in a seemingly permanent position of tension, and it was all he could do keep from screaming. The clans of the Leaf felt more troublesome than they were worth. The Uchiha happened to be the more pressing, but he was well aware of issues surrounding the others.

He didn't move when he sensed the chakra enter the vicinity. Rather he welcomed the interruption of his thoughts. "Any news?"

"Lady Kushina sent you a meal." Kakashi seemed sheepish carrying the lunch box.

"She should be resting." He exasperated, but couldn't hide the smile that followed the reprimand.

The ANBU handed the food over. "She insisted."

"I'm sure." Minato opened the box and inhaled. "Jiraiya should be returning for a visit soon."

"The Sannin?"

"And my jounin-sensei." Minato laughed. "He's an author right now, wandering and doing whatever it is he does. We're naming our son after the character in his book. Though… it seems it's going to be the only book of that genre. His other ideas are interesting." Minato let out a bark of a laugh. "You'd probably really enjoy them in a year or two."

Kakashi said nothing else. It wasn't his place to openly show interest or affection as ANBU, but he listened to the Hokage out of respect. Secretly, his curiosity was piqued. What kind of book did the legendary ninja want write that could cause Minato to look so scandalized?

"Is your subordinate watching Kushina?"

"Yes."

"Then take a seat. We can talk for a minute."

Doing as instructed, Kakashi sat. Minato tried to gauge his reactions without seeing the face behind the dog mask. The Hokage knew Kakashi's current position prevented him from talking about much, but he asked anyway. "How are you?"

"Fine."

' _He's tired…. And not just because of Kushina.'_ Minato thought.

"That's good. Are you enjoying your new apartment?"

"Yes. It's nice."

' _He likes the solitude more than I had hoped he would.'_

Minato nodded slowly. "Thank you again for watching over my family. You can go."

Kakashi bowed before vanishing.

* * *

.

The trees threw long shadows through the canopies, streams of golden light filtering down letting them know it was evening. It was their second day into the journey and last before they would reach their destination, so Shiro came to a stop. He let out a grunt when Iruka slammed into his back. The other two landed gracefully on the branch next to him.

Iruka rubbed his face, glanced to his friends and then looked away embarrassed.

"Sorry, Sensei."

"You need to be paying attention, Iruka." Shiro stated.

"I know." He sulked.

The jounin turned back around. "We're going to make camp here and leave in the morning."

His squad was entirely made up of contradictions. Iruka was a clown, he wanted to make people smile and had a heart that would normally seem totally inept for a shinobi, but he showed a great strategic mind and quick reflexes. Of course that last part only applied when he was focused and not trying to impress his teammates.

Their star kunoichi didn't know what she wanted in life as far as Shiro could gather. She was dedicated and blended well with the boys, but part of her held back whether it be in battle or in relationships. Shiro could guess well enough seeing her mother's death caused some issues. Like Iruka's clumsiness, the jounin hoped it would pass with time.

And then there was Mizuki. Shiro's eyes narrowed in on the white haired boy who was unrolling his sleeping bag to the side of him. He was power hungry. He wanted to prove himself better than Iruka and Kotone, better than anyone really. Between the subtle jabs towards his friends and trying a little too hard during sparring, Shiro was on edge whenever Mizuki become over excited.

"Iruka, come on, dude." Mizuki rolled his eyes. Following the action, he smiled, acutely aware their sensei was watching.

Struggling to untangle the rope for a hammock, Iruka sputtered. "I don't know how this happened!"

Kotone let out a quiet laugh and went to assist the flailing boy. She grabbed the knot and yanked, sending Iruka face first into the ground. Dirt covered his cheeks, thankfully, as he felt them heat up immensely. No matter what he did he made a fool of himself in front of his team.

"Sorry, you alright?" Kotone offered her hand.

Iruka took it and brushed himself off bolstering. "No big deal."

"Geez, what kind of a shinobi are you?" Mizuki questioned.

Kotone collapsed to her sleeping bag exhausted from the day. "Mizuki, just shut up, would ya?"

At her sudden retort, Mizuki's shoulders fell. He opened his mouth, but closed it quickly realizing he was about to say something he would regret. His eyes glanced back and forth from Iruka and Kotone.

"Yeah… sorry."

Shiro took to leaning against one of the trees to watch over his students. As sundown came and the shadows grew, he felt a smile twitch across his normally stoic face. Kotone and Mizuki moved their bag to the branches where Iruka's small hammock was hung up.

Mizuki opened up a snack pack, offering it his teammates who gladly accepted. They ate quickly. Iruka shifted to lean over and face the others. He bit his lip, wondering if the question he wanted to ask would go over well.

Before he thought to reword it, the words tumbled out. "Hey… you know, do you think our parents are ever worried?"

"I mean why wouldn't they be?" Mizuki sat up. "We're shinobi like them, we could get hurt. Parents don't want that."

Both boys stopped and looked to Kotone. Iruka's eyes widened. "Oh, um, what about yours, Kotone?"

It was hard to see in the fading light, but Iruka swore he saw a tear run down her face. She smiled. "Ah, I never met my dad. My mom died about the month before the war ended."

"I'm sorry." The two spoke simultaneously.

"It's fine."

Iruka suddenly felt horrible. Her voice had cracked.

"Kotone, it's okay." Mizuki said.

"Yeah. When we get home you can come meet my parents and Mizuki's dad. My mom's been pestering me about meeting you, she already knows Mizuki, but that's okay. You'll have to tell her when your birthday is though, they make a big deal about those. One time she cooked this huge meal for Mizuki and made an awesome cake, her cakes are the best, you can ask anyone on our street." Iruka rambled, but stopped when Mizuki hit him.

Kotone had brought her knees to her chest and started to cry.

"Kotone? Shit, I'm sorry. I just wanted to-"

"Iruka. Stop." Mizuki muttered.

"No." Her expression wasn't unhappy. "Thank you guys, I… Haven't been offered anything like that before."

She had felt so alone for so long that it was easier to go through the motions of happiness. It never occurred to Kotone that Iruka and Mizuki wanted her to be a part of their lives beyond a team or acquaintances. Her mom had told her when she was little that the only thing more important than loyalty to a village was loyalty to family.

"You aren't upset?"

"No, no." She laughed softly. As her sniffling subsided, they fell into quiet chatter. The autumn air was sharp against their skin and quickly the dusk turned into night. Iruka curled deeper into the sleeping bag on the hammock, Mizuki felt his eyes growing heavy. Kotone and Iruka's murmurs could still be heard.

Shiro's voice from the other side of camp ended the conversations.

"Enough. You need to be ready for tomorrow."

* * *

.

Iruka woke up groggy. He raised his arm over his face to block the sun which seemed to have become intense out of nowhere. With a groan he hopped out of the hammock and felt his breath hitch. The camp was cleared out. No Mizuki, no Kotone, no Shiro.

His heart beat hard against his ribs. The trees around enclosed around as if they were trying to swallow him alive.

The terror he should have felt subsided, there was no reason for this to be happening. The looming branches that were getting closer even as his breathing evened out proved his thought.

It was a newly learned gesture making his hands look awkward as he spoke. "Release."

In the blink of an eye Iruka jumped backward. Everything around him cleared up and he found himself nearly face to face with a Rock shinobi. The young man's face was a hardened stare.

"I'm impressed a genin like you managed to break the genjustsu."

"Where's my squad!"

"Two on patrol, should be about beat up by now, and the one little albino runt they left watching you is being held captive."

"Unprovoked attacks are an act of war!" He growled reaching for a kunai.

"We just want your documents, kid."

"Documents?"

"Yeah and I ain't leaving without them."

Iruka let out a yelp as he leapt further away from his attacker. For the first time he felt fear for his life. Every instinct and moment of training raced through his mind until nothing but instinct was left. He dodged through the branches looking for signs of where Mizuki was.

The shinobi flashed in front of him, causing Iruka to come to a screeching halt and dropping straight down from the trees. If he didn't win he was going to die. Mizuki could die.

Sweat was beginning to drip down his brow and he was unsure if the salty sting in his eyes was from that or tears. The shinobi was a chunin, recent, by Iruka's guess. He was older, maybe closer to seventeen or nineteen, but nowhere skilled enough to be jounin. If he was, Iruka would have been caught by speed alone. He needed a plan regardless and needed it now.

Iruka sensed the chakra before he ever saw the shinobi reappear from the wall of leaves that blew from his drop down.

Faster than he thought possible for himself, Iruka's hands changed positions. "Shadow clone jutsu!"

A second Iruka appeared and both grabbed hold of new kunai. On a quick exhale of breath, they slashed forward and hard. The copy vanished on impact and the Iruka let out a cry cut short as he was thrown back.

When the dust settled, Iruka found his head pounded. Everything on the trail became blurry as he scrambled away from the sight in front him. His feet tripped over a log sending him back onto his butt and with trembling fingers dropped the kunai. He stared down at his hand then back to the body a few feet away that lay twitching. Iruka fought the urge to hurl at the ragged gasps of the other person choking on their own blood.

The color red tinted his vision.

Nothing in the Academy could have prepared Iruka for seeing death like this, for causing death in this way. His hands had done this. He felt it happen, he _felt_ the blade drag across the enemy's throat.

The voices shouting his name seemed distant.

Shiro was sprinting to Iruka with Kotone and Mizuki hot on his trail.

"Shit." Shiro swore, his eyes furrowing. "Iruka!"

Iruka flinched at the shaking of his shoulders and with wide eyes stared at Shiro. "I… it was an accident… I didn't mean to…"

"Listen to me, Iruka." Shiro gripped his student tight. "I'd rather it be him than you. You did what you had to in order to survive."

Despite the front, Shiro felt sick himself. He thought a few minutes away wouldn't hurt. He wanted to see Kotone's progression one-on-one and by the time he sensed there had been an ambush, it was too late. How they concealed their chakra signatures so well was beyond Shiro; it was too advanced for the skill level they possessed. To him, however, it didn't matter, his carelessness as a leader, as a jounin, brought his students danger.

Shiro knew they would have to face their first kill, but he never thought it would have happened like this.

"I don't understand they were just blueprints." Mizuki said.

"Apparently the expansion was for another weapon manufacturing building. They wanted to know how many weapons could be produced by the Leaf and what kind." Shiro asked. "Kotone, can you sew this up if I do the chakra healing?"

She brought her attention away from the body and gasped realizing the blood streaming down Iruka's face came from a slash across his nose instead of the enemy's injury. "Yeah."

"Then get the suturing needle from your pack, we'll do this now and head out."

Iruka was given a cloth to bit down on as the needle went through his skin. A stinging sensation pricked his face while Shiro hovered chakra over the skin; Mizuki stood by watching the event with a strange awe. Kotone's hand work seemed delicate, but exact, like she had been doing it all her life.

Kotone tried to work fast so Iruka wouldn't have to deal with the pain longer than necessary. She stared hard at his face, feeling an ache in her chest knowing what is was like to see a human life end right before her. She recognized the deadened glaze over his eyes as the adrenaline wore off, it was a face she wore what felt like an eternity ago. Death was no longer a stranger to Kotone. As Shiro said, it was kill or be killed.

She agreed to continue following the path this life offered them for the sake of the greater good. She could only pray he squad would do the same after this.

Once she tied the knot on the end with tweezers, Kotone gave his hand a squeeze and stepped away.

Shiro nodded. "I know you're tired, but we have to get to the estate. You can rest there. You did well."

Iruka managed a weak smile. "Guess I'm a real shinobi now."

The group buried the body with a grave marker made from a picture hidden inside the Rock ninja's flak jacket. As they headed out, Kotone turned to look at it once more and curled her hand into a fist. This was all they would ever have. A grave. If they were lucky, maybe a nice headstone, people to drop off flowers and cry, but in the end, everyone wound up in the same place. The greater good was all she could live for. It was what, in that moment, she would be willing to die for.

Her resolve to find the man who killed her mother heightened. Like this Rock nin, there was reason behind the attack, but not one good enough for Kotone's satisfaction. She wanted answers as to why and if she learned one thing today it was that the only way to get answers was to steal and kill for them. So she would. Anyone outside her home was the enemy. They stole precious lives from her village. It would be for the village that Kotone would go after them.

The Hidden Mist shinobi who took her mother's life had a spoke of a lot things with Kotomi that Kotone didn't understand, but what she would never forget were his final words before leaving her alone with the body of her mother.

" _Life is only fair to those who can stay alive."_

* * *

 _._

 **lol this ended up being a much longer chapter than I intended it to be... like a lot longer.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Iruka you can't keep acting like this!" Kotone was livid.

He stared back at her with a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes as he swam in the lake, a group of soon to be genin laughing hysterically at him. He had been showing off and then when they lost interest, fell into the water.

"Acting like what?" He cackled. "I'm having fun!"

"The chunin exams are three weeks away and you're being childish! I know you're hurting, but this... This isn't how to deal with it!"

His eyes flashed something fierce. "I'm fine; if you're so worried about studying for the exams and practicing then go off and do it."

"This is important, you need to be focused, studying as much as you can!"

"Blah, blah." He waved his hand and laughed again. "You're such a nag."

She gave him a pissed stare before turning sharp on her heel.

Since the Nine Tailed Fox brought its havoc upon the village, Iruka wasn't the same. The closer the exams got, the more adamantly he refused to train, avoiding both Mizuki and Kotone as much as possible. If losing his parents hadn't sent him over the edge, then the death of Shiro Hyuuga had. They were lucky enough to have been recommended for the exam only days before the attack, yet Iruka wanted nothing to do with any of it.

Mizuki, who had been waiting behind some bushes in anticipation, raised his brow. "So?"

Kotone brushed past him. "He's not coming."

Her storming off was interrupted by a gravelly. "Perhaps I could have a word with Iruka?"

The genin nodded dumbly as the Third Hokage made his way to the boy getting out of the lake. Hiruzen had approached Iruka many times in the last few months and always seemed to momentarily get through to him, but now with chunin exam closing in, Iruka needed to make a decision: would he continue to be a shinobi?

Kotone didn't wait around to see the outcome. Mizuki, though, he watched bristling. Iruka was a failure in his eyes and the fact that all these people still put their faith in him made Mizuki want to tear his hair out. Iruka lost resolve so quickly it was a wonder he ever made it through the Academy. This time something was different.

Iruka started to cry and the Third placed a hand on his shoulder. The scene made Mizuki sick.

"You must continue to live for yourself, Iruka." Hiruzen stated and then continued with eyes glancing to the hidden team, "You seem to have another family that loves you, do not abandon them now."

Mizuki took it as his queue to drag Iruka away from the lake, bursting from the bushes. He pushed Iruka along giving thanks to the Hokage. He smiled, playing his part of the always happy and ready to help comrade because it was the only way to use Iruka's pain to his benefit. The Hokage never once asked him how he felt losing his parents. Mizuki never saw him ask Kotone either.

He felt his blood go hot. Iruka had everything. Both parents (or used to), their Kage's attention, Kotone's concern. And for what? Being a cry baby?

"Oww!" Iruka pulled away feeling nails dig into his skin.

"Ah sorry, Iruka."

"It's fine, just a pinch."

"What Lord Hokage say?"

"Doesn't matter, but I'm ready to train. We've got to get promoted or Kotone might kick our asses, we promised not to let her down, right?"

"...Yeah."

.

* * *

.

The dirt was hard against Kotone's rear. She almost didn't care that her hair pony tail had fallen out and her hair was sprawled across the ground. Almost. At the sight of a bug nearing her head she let out a small squeal. She tried getting up, but found her legs disagreed.

A falcon, Hayabusa, preened his feathers. "You may have overdone it."

"Shut up, bird." She muttered searching through her bag for gauze.

"I am smart enough to know you shouldn't practically rip your finger off for a simple summoning. Blood is dangerous game with you, Kotone." He looked up and pointed a talon. "I promised Kouto I would watch you-"

"Because he promised my dad that as his summoning partner and friend he would care for his family, which means me, I know. I've heard the spiel a billion times."

"You are unpleasant today. You usually seem far more serious and less… snotty."

"I'm pissed."

"Why is that?"

"Because I bleed." She watched red drops fall.

"You _could_ use your medicine."

"Waste it on this? I'll just bandage it. And I'm sick of this shit, they'll never let me advance if I can't improve."

"You've done well so far." He didn't mention that bleeding was out of her control, but Hayabusa knew that was what she meant by improvement.

"That river nin, he was a jounin, maybe former ANBU." Her eyes met her companions. "I know someone in this village knows why she was assassinated a damn day before the treaty was signed. And by a Mist, they shouldn't have been that close to the Leaf."

"You weren't supposed to be out there at all."

"I… I know."

"Don't you cry, it's unbecoming a shinobi. You made your choice to enter the battlefield and must live with the consequences."

"You told her where I was when I asked you not to!"

"You were in danger. I have a duty."

"Screw that!" She snarled. "Go away, Haya!"

"I will be at the apartment." With a shake of his feathers, Hayabusa took off into the air. Kotone was an infant when her parents cut open her hand and had guided her fingers to scribble her name. She was contracted to falcons before she could even speak, but none of them minded. They had ancient ties with her father's clan, and nothing meant more to them then protecting the offspring of their prodigy master. Hayabusa, however, couldn't stand teenage mood swings. His best course of action was always to leave when she seemed to riled up.

Kotone wrapped her palm and placed her head into her hands trying to control her breathing. She wanted to reconcile with the man who killed her mother so badly it nearly drove her mad. With a few exceptions, everything from that day years ago was a blur that Kotone couldn't seem to clear up. Pieces were missing. She was willing to do anything to find out what.

Wobbling, she forced herself to get up. She needed to make preparations at the hospital.

The walk was about ten minutes from the field and from the moment she entered through the doors, the sterile smell hit Kotone like bricks. She despised the hospital with all her being, but she was a regular. Behind the front desk Emiko grinned.

"Kotone! How are you!"

Kotone gave a weary smile. "I've been good, and you?"

"Great! What did you need?"

"I was wondering about the medicine, I want as much as I can at the chunin exams with me."

"A chunin already?" Emiko looked shocked. "You've barely started training."

Kotone shrugged. It seemed reasonable to her, they wanted to fill the ranks back up and then the village would change the training standards.

This was the first chunin exam since the war ended. She knew it wouldn't be in the Leaf, but it hadn't been announced where the genin would be going in two days. They would arrive, have two weeks of prep time in their designated location and then it would begin. Kotone wanted to be ready for whatever would come her way.

"Well." Emiko pursed her lips. "Give me a few minutes to go talk with the supply staff and I'll be right back with a crate."

"Thanks, Emiko."

"Mm hmm."

As Kotone sat in the stiff lounge chair, she watched another nurse take over the desk and the people come in and out. An old man sat across from Kotone, his head back and drool dangling with every snore. A mother rushed in dragging a little boy with a gash on his forehead; he kept complaining it didn't hurt and it wasn't a big deal.

She traced the lines on her right palm with her eyes unfocused staring at the bandage over her left. With Shiro, she had trained herself to be able to inject any injury with the proper dose of clotting medication as quick as she can throw a kunai. Kotone sighed. How she ended up with the luck of having a father with hemophilia and mother carrying the gene was beyond her. She had to be the most medically problematic shinobi out there.

Until her genin training, Kotone constantly had her blood tested and IV's transfusions. Her only saving grace was the fact she was girl, so while her body needed extra help when bleeding, she could manage most injuries on her own. Had she been a boy and Kotone would have never seen the life of a shinobi.

"Kotone."

Her head snapped up. Emiko had a small box in her hands.

"Three dozen vials, plus what you have now. It should be enough to get you through the exams. I have paperwork for the Hokage to submit to the host's medical staff in case you need more and emergency procedures."

She nodded.

"You go become a chunin."

"Yes ma'am." Kotone nodded again.

.

* * *

.

She left the hospital and went home, quickly packing up the medicine. Kotone tensed hearing her front door being knocked on. She opened it with a glare.

"What, Iruka?"

"The exams! They're getting ready to tell us where they are!"

"You're going now?"

"Ah," He rubbed his neck, "sorry about earlier."

"You aren't going to walk out on us are you?"

"No way! Never again, I swear!"

"Where's Mizuki?"

Iruka shrunk at her dismissal of his promise. "He already went to the meeting to save us spots."

"Then let's go."

He opened his mouth, but closed it just as fast. She was angry at him and he deserved it. Iruka made a promise to not let Kotone down, yet he still acted selfishly; it was shameful. He swore he would make it up to her during the exams.

.

* * *

.

The group of genin watched the Hokage intently. Hiruzen licked his lips in slight distaste of what he was to say.

"You have been chosen as the best of the best genin, teams whose sensei believe you have what it takes to truly fight or die for the Village Hidden in the Leaves. So, it is with great pride that tomorrow morning we begin our journey to the Village Hidden in the Mist for this year's chunin exams."

Kotone's eyes widened, Iruka and Mizuki glanced to one another. The stakes for being promoted grew tenfold.

.

* * *

 **Oh god sorry this is so late. Exams wiped everything out of me, but here it is! And the next chapter is almost finished and should (hopefully) be posted asap to make up for the wait**


	6. Chapter 6

It didn't take long to become acclimated to the Mist's weather, but the tension within the area kept everyone on edge. Each village was given their own hotel, contestants and viewers alike, because wounds from the war were still fresh.

Kotone sat under the patio of one of the many restaurants across the street. She watched with contempt at any shinobi from outside from her own land. They were told to keep rivalry to other contestants in exams only: no instigating, no fighting, but somewhere in this village was the man who took everything from Kotone. If she came across him, she wasn't sure she'd be able to control her anger.

"Heya, how's it going?"

"What's up, Izumo." Kotone nodded to the rival genin.

"Ah not much, waiting for my team to meet me. What about you? Where's Mizuki and Iruka?"

"No idea. They ran off a little while ago."

"You ready for this week?"

She grinned. "I've been ready since we got here."

Izumo's face lit up. "Yeah me too! One of my friends who passed a while ago said if I make it through this year he'll buy me as much barbecue as I can eat."

"Genma?" She questioned with a laugh.

"Yup. He's been my best friend forever. Ya know?" Izumo leaned into his chair, "It's weird having friends, I mean… Having to fight friends here."

"You do what you have to."

Truth be told, neither genin really knew the other. Kotone's sudden callous comment threw him off guard.

"I mean I'd totally fight the other genin here, no doubt, but if they pit us against one another, who wants to fight their own village? Not that I'm saying I'd hold back because I'd still fight you."

"I wouldn't want you to hold back." Kotone rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't go as far as death to win against our people, but you have to want the win."

"Sometimes winning doesn't mean you accomplished anything though. Who cares if you win if you're friends get hurt, ya know?" He paused. "Oh! There's my team, gotta go. See ya later!"

Alone again, Kotone folded her hands under her chin. The drizzle was beginning its vicious cycle of hard drops that could tear skin. People ran for cover or pulled hoods over their heads. She felt eyes on her.

Kotone turned to the roof tops with a blink. There was definitely ninja there, already gone before she could make out more than a quick blur. Whether they were enemy or Leaf ANBU doing their watch duty over competitors was unknown.

At long last her food arrived, the smell causing her stomach to growl loudly. Her server chuckled.

Kotone scarfed it down. She remained seated, contemplating. She wanted to serve her village, but she also wanted to know about her mother, about her father. Was it acceptable to want a promotion for such selfish reasons?

From the way her birds spoke, Kotone couldn't fathom how her dad, a man of such talent had no recognition. She thought of the little boy, son of a jinchuriki and the Fourth Hokage, who would never be allowed to know his parents. Was the village hiding her dad as well?

A heavy sigh escaped her lips. It was too close to be worried.

.

* * *

.

"Listen and listen good, brats."

Kotone bristled at the Mist jounin that stood above all the genin.

"Like every year, this is a variation of the training ground mission. You have a scroll and four days to make it to the other side. There you will deliver it to a jounin of your village and your village only, extra points are awarded if you arrive with scrolls from other teams. If you show up with other scrolls, but not the one you are about to be given you will fail. If you hand your scroll to the wrong jounin you will fail. If you don't make it to the other side in the allotted time, you will fail. We will not look for you. If your village wants to send people, they can. Anything goes and deaths will be inevitable if you don't take this seriously."

Even the Mist genin shuffled nervously, though Kotone had suspicions they were used to this intensity of training. She took holding the scroll, Iruka and Mizuki on either side as they entered the arena. The rain pelted through any cover provided by the scraggly cliffs; rapids which carved through the land were deep and far wider than Kotone pictured.

The roar of water and mudslides collapsing on top of one another put everyone not from the Mist at a disadvantage

"Four days starts now." A voice echoed.

Immediately all teams took off.

"We should try to get another scroll." Mizuki said.

Looking to her left, Kotone frowned. "We shouldn't risk it. It'll take at least two days to reach the other side of that mountain."

"Which means two left."

"The mission comes first." She couldn't risk not making it past the first round. On top that, she wanted her friends to get out without casualties.

"I agree, but we should be the top team. I know we're better than anyone else here."

Iruka, who had been silent, suddenly lunged to the right shoving his team into the nearest tree. They groaned in pain. Iruka rolled off the dog pile and on to the next branch. His kunai flew snapping through two trip wires before the entrance of the ravine.

"How the hell…" Mizuki grunted sitting up.

"It seemed too easy." Iruka noted.

"Thanks."

Kotone felt her back flowering purple with a wince, yet she couldn't take the time to check her injuries. They were on a clock and it was push forward or be left behind, so she chose to ignore any pain.

Much more carefully the trio prepared to head into the heart of the exam. Their eyes were vigilant and every step was taken swiftly, but with caution. Trip wires were set up all between the muddy walls. Most of them were easily avoided. A few still snagged Iruka's ankles once he took the lead.

The sun hid behind a blanket of gray clouds making time indistinguishable and as the gray grew black, the genin froze. Lightning sparked the sky followed by a loud crack echoed. On the mountainous ledge behind them, waves of water and sludge crashed over quickly filling the ravine.

"Start running up the sides now!" Kotone ordered.

Mud slid underneath their feet. Even the strongest shinobi could struggle to keep chakra steady on the terrain.

Kotone's foot lodged under a rock hanging off the side and as the boys kept on, she panicked realizing how quickly she was being left behind.

Her body slid down closer to the rapid flood below.

"Mizuki!"

He turned around. "Kotone?"

"I- I can't move! I'll fall! You've got to take the scroll; we can't lose it!"

She slashed a kunai forward with her free hand in hopes to steady herself while Mizuki scaled back down. Mud seeped over her knife until she felt her grip disappear. Mizuki hesitated, his hand lingering between grabbing her wrist and the scroll.

"Shit." Kotone breathed and watched another mudslide rush down. The look in her eyes begged for help, but Mizuki didn't budge. She tossed the paper upward before letting herself fall.

Iruka screamed.

Black fell over Kotone in waves so heavy she couldn't tell mud from her closed eyes. Hidden debris smashed into her, thwarting a feeble attempt hold her breath, and she let out a cry.

Her body went limp as the pain in her leg became excruciating. She had to be close to the bottom by now, any second she expected to be thrown into the deep of the river.

Instead there was nothing more than the wind whipping her sides. It took a minute to blink away the caked mud and Kotone realized both her arms were free. She was held in suspension over another cliff, Iruka's hand digging into her wrist. Where mud started and Iruka began, Kotone didn't know, but she could see him smile.

"I promised I wouldn't let you down."

Mizuki fumbled check on the scroll, then leaned to take Kotone's other arm; the boys yank hard to drag her up.

She collapsed onto the side coughing. All she could do was wheeze while guiding Iruka and Mizuki on how to use chakra to clear her lungs. Worse still, breathing was painful for half an hour after that.

It was a fat chance in hell she wasn't bleeding, but Kotone didn't care.

When she hacked the last of mud out from her mouth, the three looked at each other. No one dared to mention that Mizuki had let Kotone go, that he picked the scroll over her. Instead, Kotone silently checked them for vital injuries of their own and when she was satisfied, they climbed to higher ground quietly. They came to the top to see a plume of smoke indicating it was 9 p.m. A full twelve hours since they started the day. Kotone suggested making camp for the night noticing how even Mizuki was struggling to catch his breath.

She offered to take the first watch. Graciously Mizuki and Iruka curled up against a tree stump.

Three hours later Hayabusa appeared next to Kotone.

"I'll need you tomorrow." Kotone said putting a bandage back around her thumb.

"You are going to let them finally see your summoning?"

"I haven't needed you guys until now."

"Haven't needed or didn't want?"

She pulled out two syringes and pushed one into her upper thigh, the other in her forearm. "Shut up, Haya."

"Two full doses?"

"I can't afford to treat each individually."

"Why did you wait until now?" He questioned. "If you were hurt, you should have taken care of it earlier."

"What?" She didn't look up from her needle.

The falcon's milky eyes pierced Kotone in dismay. "Your friends do not know? Kotone, that is incredibly dangerous."

"Shiro knew. He said we could keep it a secret until I was ready. I'm not ready and he's not here now." Kotone wanted to bite her tongue at the last part. She must've sounded bitter.

"Do you not think they need to know in case something happens? Or if you get hurt and they try to treat you only to find you won't stop bleeding?"

"I know, but not now. They'd treat like I was fragile, maybe even make me quit the exam. I want teammates not martyrs."

"I can't say I agree, but I will protect you with the best of my ability during this time." The bird ruffled his back. "The Iruka boy, you said he was the one who saved you."

"Yeah."

"And Mizuki did not try?"

"He did what I asked. He put the mission first."

"That is no excuse. You never put a comrade's life after a piece of paper."

"Well he-" Kotone's shoulders fell. She couldn't deny being hurt that he picked the scroll over her, he barely stopped to consider helping her because all he wanted to was to win with or without Kotone. She looked back to her sleeping team. Iruka dropped himself down at least fifteen feet in seconds to have been able to have caught Kotone. He put his own life at risk to save hers.

She changed the subject. "When this over can you teach me the Sage jutsu for falcon summoning?"

"Of course." Hayabusa trailed off, "But you kno-"

Kotone stared at the sky. "I keep hoping if I learn what it is, if I can master it, I can be closer with my dad. And I asked some of older shinobi, people alive a while before the war. Only one recognized his name, the rest said they didn't know who he was."

Hayabusa didn't move an inch. He wished Kotone would leave the subject alone.

"Kouto told me my dad was well known… Someone the village loved."

"He was."

"Then why can no one tell me about him!" She hissed. "I want to hear about him, how he met my mom, why he died, all of it."

"Kotone…" He hopped closer to her. "There were a lot things working against your father. His secrets, they are meant to protect you, you know that."

"Protect me from _what?_ "

"After the chunin exams and if you pass, I will talk to some people and see what I can tell you."

"So even if I become a chunin you aren't promising?"

"I cannot promise anything."

She yawned widely then shook her head. "Okay. Okay I can live with that. Can you look around for us?"

Hayabusa shot up into the air to start a patrol. The rain made sustaining long flight hard, but he could manage enough space to locate some other teams. Their chakra signatures glowed in the dark. And if birds could smirk he would, Kotone was wise to send him out for recon and if she ordered it he could swipe another scroll before the genin realized what happened.

He circled on and off until daybreak, and his return was welcomed.

Iruka gaped at Hayabusa. He smacked Mizuki in excitement. "Whoa, that's a huge hawk."

"I am a falcon." Hayabusa lifted his chin. "Not one of those brainless messenger birds."

"Falcons are small." Iruka pointed. "And you're almost half of Kotone's height!"

"He's one of my summons." Kotone rubbed her eyes as she woke up.

"He's your summon!?" Mizuki exclaimed. "You've had him this whole time?"

"I don't like relying only on my birds."

Hayabusa went airborne again. "I will take the front and report back every few minutes. We can make it just over the peak by tonight if you children hurry."

Kotone retied her forehead protector. "Lead the way."

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 **Sorry again for the long wait!**


	7. Chapter 7

Hayabusa came to a screeching halt to double back. He flew past Iruka in a fury, talons out, and then past Mizuki and Kotone.

"Hayabusa?" Kotone froze watching his quickly fading form.

"Ambush." He stated going into the trees to knock a small boy out.

The Mist genin's lip curled as he hit the ground. "Bastard."

Kotone inhaled sharply. She hadn't really looked closely at her competitors thus far, she assumed they would be her age, but the boy, he was no older than ten. No. She put him at maybe eight or nine.

"A kid?" Iruka asked.

Said boy twirled a kunai with a horrible gleam in his eye and then let out a low whistle. Hayabusa immediately saw multiple chakras closing in rapidly and informed his group.

"They must have an alliance." Mizuki hissed reaching for weapons.

There was no time to think. Five Hidden Mist genin appeared, all young and frail; Kotone could tell they hadn't been training for long. The way they handled their weapons looked clumsy, more desperate than confident and on top of that their hand to hand was just as unskilled.

She dodged a flying shuriken with ease then darted forward to clash with two genin. They both came at her with kunai. Kotone only needed one hand with a weapon to fend them off, and she sensed a third's chakra behind her trying to grab her pouch which contained their scroll.

Hayabusa knocked the girl away uncaring of age. He kept her pinned, a talon pressing into her throat. "Dare to touch my mistress again and I will tear out your eyes."

The little girl spit at the falcon before kicking him away and making a break for it.

All of the mist met eyes and spoke simultaneously. "Water clone jutsu."

Iruka frowned at the duplicates, one boy's was missing an eye. "Have you all graduated?"

"Graduate?" He seemed momentarily confused, albeit angry as hell, but confused. "We train with a sensei off the bat."

"What?"

"Shut up, Leaf scum."

Iruka was startled to find the same boy and his clone in front of his face. He only had time to throw his arm out to take the blow of the knife with an irritated growl.

The thought crossed of killing them crossed Kotone's mind, one of these kids' elders killed her mother, she couldn't take their lives. They were little kids. Stupid, stupid little kids who couldn't even form a clone properly, how any one of status thought they could enter these exams was plain crazy. She willed chakra into her hand and then hit the back of her attackers necks. The two enemy genin crumpled instantly.

"Jiro! Matsu!" One of boys still standing looked shocked.

Mizuki took his pause to grab his arm and pin him down, kunai to the neck. "Move and I'll end your exam right now."

The other three, the second Mist squad, tensed up further. Kotone and Iruka glanced to each other. He nodded and lunged for the nearest genin while Kotone sprinted over. She wasted no time sending a jolt of her chakra into the girl's neck. When her body went limp, Iruka gently set her down.

"I'll kill you! I'll rip your fucking throats out!" The boy Mizuki had kicked and screamed. He was having a tantrum.

"They aren't dead." Kotone snapped. "They'll wake up in a few hours."

Mizuki let go of his captive. Once again, no one said anything, but the gaze between Iruka and Kotone spoke a thousand words.

' _We couldn't let them follow us.'_ Kotone's face was set grimly.

' _We're meant to kill them… if this was real.'_ Iruka looked down at the unconscious girl. He shook his head unable to relax, though Kotone's hand on his arm helped.

Hayabusa sighed ruffling his feathers out from the rain. "We are halfway to the peak, we should get moving."

"Right." Kotone squeezed Iruka's arm again.

That eliminated two teams for at least three hours. There were eight teams who entered the arena, so now if they could avoid the rest, they might make it the to the end unscathed. Or at least no more injured than they were.

"How could they send out little kids?" Iruka's voice was quiet.

"Well…" Mizuki started, "I can't say for sure, but I heard almost all their older students got wiped out during the genin exam a few years ago."

"Wiped out?"

"Yeah, some kid went crazy and just killed all of them. Even the ones who weren't a part of the exam, pretty much any student around that day got slaughtered. It's not like the Mist can just create new shinobi. I doubt there were even enough adults to you know… after the war. They probably grabbed whatever kids were left around the village and threw them into genin teams for missions."

"What good can they do if they don't know the basics? They can't even fight!" Iruka growled. "The war is over isn't it!? Why is looking strong more important than the safety of little kids!"

"They have missions to fill too, Iruka." Mizuki shrugged.

Kotone muttered. "Enough."

This what the world of shinobi did, the side glory and dedication couldn't cover up. It took children moldable by age, bitter through loss then threw them into life or death in the hopes a fews' instincts were good enough to help them survive. Kotone wanted to feel more upset, more angry, but the longer this went on the less she felt anything. She pitied the Mist kids, but nothing else. She wanted Iruka and Mizuki to survive. That was the end of it.

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* * *

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By a miracle, they managed to reach the peak at sunset. All three collapsed in exhaustion to the ground watching the signature plume of smoke billow. Hayabusa didn't look much better, though he tried to appear otherwise.

"Hayabusa." Kotone spoke. "Go home and rest."

"Are you sure that is wise?"

"It's not wise, but it's an order." She felt her eyes grow heavy.

"Kotone-" He was cut off by Iruka.

"It's all good, thanks for watching out for us." The scar on his nose wrinkled up as he smiled. "I'll take the first shift."

The falcon looked apprehensive, but noticed Kotone had already dozed off with Mizuki not far behind. "Iruka, take care of her."

"I'll put my life on the line for the people precious to me."

"Good." Hayabusa poofed away into smoke, the summoning jutsu releasing him back to his original place.

The night was lonely, but Iruka couldn't bring himself to wake up either of his friends to switch shifts. Nightmares of the Nine Tales had yet to leave him making sleep the less appealing option lately. Rain fell in sheets outside of the ledge that his team had claimed for the evening and behind the stormy clouds the light of the moon casted an eerie glow, shadows coming and going off the walls.

He looked down at himself and squinted. He was soaked to the bone, yet the rain still couldn't remove the mud stains on his clothes. Or was it blood? He really wasn't sure anymore. The bandaging around his ankles became pointless once waterlogged and he had removed it way earlier in the day. Kotone offered to heal it better with chakra, but Iruka hadn't wanted to be a burden or strain, though now he was wishing he had let her. It stung every time he shifted his feet.

He leaned his head back against the rock wall. Kotone wasn't on her game, no matter what she or Mizuki said. Only two things ever set Kotone off, the mention of the Village Hidden in the Mist and Leaf ANBU, and since they stepped foot into the Land of Water she was dazed.

He pursed his lips at the crack of thunder. They were told conditions wouldn't be pleasant here, but the weather seemed to mimic what he had read on the Village Hidden in the Rain. Typhoon season, as he was told, made any area near water ugly. When it wasn't pouring, it was so humid and muddy they were practically drenched anyhow.

At a flash from lightning, Iruka rubbed his eyes then sprung up in a panic. He swore he saw shinobi leap off the cliffs across from them and hesitantly stepped out from the cover of the ledge. Without a second thought, he aimed a kunai in the general direction where he saw them and threw it as hard he could. If someone was there, Iruka wanted them to know that he was aware of their presence. In all reality, he wasn't sure if his weapon made over the ravine.

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* * *

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Two masked ANBU made no movement when a kunai fell a few feet in front of them.

"They'll make it tomorrow and finish a day early." The voice spoke behind a cat mask.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"The white haired one doesn't seem to care much for his squad."

"Well, the cliff thing is debatable."

"You can't see it yet." Kakashi's eyes were trained on the dot that was Mizuki asleep. "He has no concern for their survival. Only his own."

"How can you be so sure, senpai? They've already gotten this far." Tenzo tried to understand, but as far as he could tell they were a good team.

"If you don't see it, you haven't learned much."

Tenzo pulled a face behind the mask. "Should we be worried they saw us?"

"Umino won't chalk it up past another team being here. Besides, they need to stay on edge."

Contrary to what the Mist jounin stated, there was a default plan of safety for all Hidden Leaf genin. The Third Hokage opted for sending in ANBU to observe the Konohagakure teams; they could not interfere until a shinobi was on the brink of death or called out a forfeit, but it was better than any alternat. Hiruzen despised the Village Hidden in the Mist's blatant disregard for the life of young ninja, not when every village was already lacking strong fighters as it was.

Kakashi moved his gaze to Kotone. She undeniably improved in all areas of combat, and he was mildly fascinated by the attack she had used against the Mist genin. To him it looked like a form of medical ninjutsu, but it was too fluid. If a year ago she had any of the skills he'd seen today Kakashi may have had a harder time immediately ruling Kotone out for genin status.

He wondered if this jump in skill was why Minato had been so adamant about moving her up the ranks. Better yet, how could the Fourth have known she held such an untapped potential? Kakashi almost laughed. He didn't think she even understood how many resources went into her training, though he couldn't be cynical-she never seemed to take things for granted. It kind of pissed him off, but Kakashi couldn't bring himself to admit the feeling came from guilt of his own selfishness. Images of ditching training flashed through his head, all the times he left early or showed up late because he didn't want friends. The mission only.

He left Rin and Obito in the dust during his Chunin exams. Sure Kakashi was _with_ them to make sure they didn't get him disqualified, but he did almost all of it on his own.

"Senpai?"

"Yeah?"

"You still smell like bird crap."

Kakashi mock glared, and while Tenzo couldn't see his face let out a small laugh at the older boy.

"That falcon tried to do a number." Tenzo snorted quietly.

"I should have let Pakkun eat him." Kakashi grumbled. Hayabusa had picked them out of the trees early on and decided to attack first, ask later. He and Kakashi butted heads, and when Kakashi used his summoning Hayabusa went ballistic. He started swearing up and down about dogs. Kakashi let a snarky comment drop about birds being dirty, and before Pakkun could warn him that Hayabusa took insults seriously, the ANBU found a glop of white bird poop on his arm.

Kakashi would have been impressed by Hayabusa's speed if it weren't for the crap dumped on him.

"He seemed… Very angry considering we're from the same village."

He wasn't going to bother explaining why the bird was so upset, but both were thinking about what the falcon had said.

" _You nasty, disgusting, filthy mutt. You dare to show your face! And you, son of White Fang, yes that's right I know who you are; only one clan uses such simple summons. You are so incredibly lucky I do not have it in me to tear your or Pakkun's throat out. After all you have put Kotone through… I assume this is the Hokage's orders, but I want you as far away from her as possible. Especially you, Pakkun!"_

Kakashi grimaced.

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 **I'm not in love with this, but I really want to get working on the next chapter so a necessary evil. And so many people have read this (or at least opened the page a few times haha) and to the people who have favorited/followed I'm so grateful holy crap? I love seeing that there's an audience to this! As usual, reviews are welcome!**


	8. Chapter 8

Kotone had felt sick the moment Iruka stepped into the one-on-one arena. Per her feelings, she could only clench her jaw as both he and Osamu Takashi were removed from the arena unconscious. Even coming from the oldest squad in the Hidden Mist, at age eleven, Osamu stood a few inches shorter than Iruka, but the fight was more intense expected. Osamu's squad was the only who knew what they were doing.

While the other teams had their sensei standing behind them, offering reassurance and protection of sorts from the jeering crowds, Team 6 of Konoha was alone. Kotone briefly looked up at where the Kage sat and Hiruzen gave the slightest nod. He had seen the double blow that took out Iruka and Osamu, he was watching them, he was watching _her_. For that brief second, the look in the Hokage's eyes demanded her best and heaven forbid if she did anything less.

"The next match between Kotone Matsushita of the Village Hidden in the Leaves and Nobu Akiyama of the Village Hidden in the Mist is to begin. Competitors make your way down."

The boy, also of Osamu's team, smirked. "Get ready for a beating, Leaf bitch."

"Bastard." She seethed back, her anxiety quickly fueling into hatred. Why was she worried? These people were inhuman, malicious beings who only sought to destroy whatever was in their way with no consideration to others; these people killed her mother.

"As the rules of Chunin Exams state, fight with intention to kill. If I wish to step in at any time I may. The round ends when one competitor is unable to fight or is killed."

Kotone almost laughed. The Hidden Mist proctors had yet to step in once during any round, instead sensei jumped down calling their student unfit to continue. They were lucky that Iruka's partner passed out at the same time as him.

"You may begin."

Kotone hesitated her step by a second after feeling something prick the back of her leg, and took the blow from Nobu to her stomach. With a heavy wheeze she was thrown back, but made struggled to move faster. Her actions were noticeably sluggish as the audience screamed of a letdown fight. She took a kunai to her cheek, shuriken raked across her thigh tearing the fabric and skin.

Her lip twitched in a sneer. She refused to lose like this.

Nobu grinned. "Not so fierce now. Do all of you Leaf suck this badly?"

Above the Hidden Leaf section of the stands, Tenzo and Kakashi stood poised watching the match.

"She was good, what happened?"

"Quiet, Cat." Kakashi snapped using his partner's codename.

Kakashi squinted at Kotone unsatisfied with what his eye alone could see and discreetly let his Sharingan fill in the blanks. He followed her eyes, every twitch of her body was in slow motion, broken down. A disgruntled 'hmph' escaped his lips, the muscles in her right legs were spasming.

It seemed for minutes (hours to Kotone) that she took each blow without grace, but when she finally caught her breath, Nobu couldn't get away fast enough.

Somewhere between arriving at the arena and seeing Iruka carried away practically lifeless, all feeling vanished from Kotone. She didn't care about the promotion to chunin or her parents, and while Iruka's injury added to her rage, it was far removed from her mind. Every shout from shinobi not hailing from the Leaf caused her blood to heat up. If they wanted a match, they would have one.

Kotone met Nobu head on, each slash of her knife concise, blocking and taking an aggressive offensive to Nobu's previously cocky attacks.

"Trying to corner me? Nice try." Nobu growled dodging Kotone and breaking for the center of the arena. She gasped feeling shuriken sink into her back.

"What... the hell…" Kotone spun around to a second Nobu and then dropped to the ground as more weapons came at her face.

"I made a clone when you went down earlier." Nobu grinned, but it was forced. Kotone's surge of energy worried him, she should have passed out long before now.

Most shinobi failed to realize the power hatred carried into war and Nobu didn't count on her anger surpassing his own.

Another shuriken hit her upper arm. Kotone let out flurry of curses. She could've dodged that one at the least, but instead she was bleeding more. A lot more. As her sight blurred, she could only sense his approaching attack and futilely tried to avoid another serious injury; still the hit sent Kotone forward, blood spewing from her mouth.

She wanted to get a sense of whether his attacks were coming from speed or power, but really that was an excuse she gave herself to explain her inability to move quicker. Surely exhaustion shouldn't have taken its toll so early on. Kotone put herself at eight minutes before she was done for. If she could stand back up and finish it right, she'd only need five.

"Hm, you still look weak to me." Nobu gave a bloody grin and spit near her head. "I was told by one of our jounin, life is only fair to people who survive and you know? I think your luck's running out."

The words pounded in her head. Nobu gaped when Kotone threw up then immediately got to her feet.

She snarled grabbing his arm and flipping him. "Who the hell said that! I want a name!"

Nobu vanished into a small puddle of water.

"Where are you!?" Kotone kicked the dirt where the clone was. "Damn it! Summoning jutsu!"

Everyone heard Hayabusa before they saw him, his screech causing all but Kotone to cover their ears with pained groans. The sound, however, was Nobu's mistake as Hayabusa dragged him out from behind a rock. The boy screamed slashing at Hayabusa's feet drawing blood, but the falcon pushed through.

Kotone took the distraction to get into position: her feet were shoulder width apart, both hands' fingers were tightly together, but open palmed. She willed chakra out of her fingertips in nearly invisible needle shapes.

Shiro's lesson replayed in Kotone's mind.

" _You don't have Byakugan like I do, so you will never be able to locate an exact point on an opponent to disable them, but your chakra control… Hit with them about an inch above each forearm, you'll temporarily block the flow of chakra, for three minutes at best. It'll work long enough to come up with a counter."_

From the stands, anyone with any knowledge of the Hyuuga shot to their feet. One Hidetsugu Hyuuga's nostrils flared at the sight before him. He activated Byakugan in indignant disbelief as Kotone charged toward Nobu at a speed someone bleeding like that shouldn't have been able to run. Hidetsugu noticed right away she missed the actual concentration of chakra nerves, but it was definitely an intentional aim to stop it from reaching his hands. He nearly spat nails at the deceased member of his clan. Shiro had _dared_ to teach one his students something resembling Gentle Fist. Even worse than that, she executed it well.

Hidetsugu looked up to the Hokage with narrowed eyes and then across the stadium where Mist shinobi watched Kotone with vehement interest. What had Shiro been thinking? The enemy was obsessed with stealing Byakugan, and he practically handed them a girl with the same level of chakra control without Hyuuga protection. Even the Sand shinobi's eyes were glued to her.

At Nobu's loss of ninjutsu, Hayabusa disappeared and Kotone swung her fist. The boy crumpled. He froze stunned by the incapacitation, and Kotone wasn't letting up.

"Give… me the name…!" She hissed.

"Fuck off…"

Kakashi grimaced (something he felt he did a lot of these days) behind the mask and it deepened hearing a pitiful shout from the sidelines. Iruka appeared with crutches next to Mizuki, horror plastered on his face.

"Mizuki! Get down there and stop this! Something isn't right!" Iruka pleaded, but their teammate shook his head solemnly.

"We'll be disqualified."

As she leaned away to throw up blood again, Nobu pulled out his last kunai and shoved into the right side of her chest. Mizuki held Iruka back as he screamed. _"KOTONE."_

Both competitors fell back, yet Nobu who the one who managed to shakily stand and yank the weapon from her chest triumphantly.

Kotone's body trembled, a cold sweat taking over. She kicked with the last of her strength as hard as she could; the crunch of his kneecap breaking and his cry was enough to let her eyelids grow heavy. Nobu fingers wrapped around her throat while he seethed. "This is for my village during the war."

Kakashi reacted faster than he could process what was happening. Someone from audience had senbon needles aiming at Kotone. His own senbon knocked both the enemy weapon out the air and Nobu's hand away.

His voice was harsh as he moved in front of Kotone. "This match is over."

The boy practically crawled away.

"Nobu Akiyama is the winner." The proctor declared. The crowd erupted into roars.

Kakashi turned his attention to the senbon on the ground. The enemy just threw three, he threw three, but there were two more where the fight started. He picked it up with a cloth and put it in his pocket before finally pressing his hands against Kotone's chest with hard pressure. Her body became dead weight in his arms.

"Shit… Come on." Kakashi murmured. "Dying here isn't okay."

Eyes furrowed, he looked to the stands; the Mizukage was speaking a med nin. The Third Hokage was on his feet with a steely glare toward the Mist Kage as he spoke to other Leaf ANBU. Kakashi had seen plenty of shinobi bleed out, but not at a chunin exam due to slow medical response.

If he was right, and he was nearly positive he was, then Kotone had been poisoned from the start. That added to her current injuries was asking for something bad.

The stretcher came; Kakashi caught a glimpse of vials poking out of her pouch as Kotone was hoisted up. He couldn't figure out why she had medicine on her, or what purpose it was supposed to serve in a battle. Decidedly, it wasn't his place to pry, not yet, anyway.

"Dog." Tenzo spoke behind the older ANBU. "Lord Hokage wishes us to report to him immediately. And then Lord Danzo would like a briefing as well."

"Right."

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* * *

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"Is this a joke?" Kotone stared Hiruzen and Danzo with wide eyes. She had been in the Village Hidden in the Mist's ICU for three days, this was her first one conscious and then they dropped the news.

The Hokage gave a mildly amused smile at her informality, but sensed Danzo's disdain for the girl.

"No to both Kotone." Hiruzen replied. "You displayed incredible talent despite having been poisoned before your fight. I strongly believe had that not occurred that you would have only impressed the council more."

"Forgive me, Lord Hokage, Lord Danzo, but I'm not anything special… I mean… I would've passed out either way." She normally wasn't one to point out her own flaws to a superior, but the words continued to tumble. "And I'm just now being given chunin status, not jounin, so joining ANBU-"

"You aren't necessarily joining ANBU." Danzo clarified, wishing he had gotten his hands on Kotone earlier. He wouldn't lie; he passed over her file many times when recruiting because of her illness, but he also hadn't been aware she held... potential for another great Konohagakure clan's talent. That word, potential. It was what the Hokage had said when asked about Kotone's use of the Gentle Fist. Unfortunately, Danzo wasn't given the chance to overhear the conversation between Hidetsugu and Hiruzen, but it was apparent whatever the Hokage had said failed to appease the Hyuuga clan leader.

"Then I don't understand."

"You possess multiple skills that we've deemed essential for reconnaissance missions. If you agree, you will undergo an altered training format so that you may join a scouting team we are preparing to send into the Land of Lightning. If you would like, we can call it a trial run for ANBU, see how your condition fairs under those conditions, but more honestly," Danzo gave her a critical once over, "this will be a one-time thing."

He couldn't let Hiruzen know that he fully intended on keeping Kotone for ANBU; Kotone wasn't wrong, as of now, she was nothing special beyond some loose chakra control training, but Danzo Shimura would push her past her limits. He would _make_ her into a prodigy.

She squinted curiously. "Reconnaissance?"

"I cannot tell you more unless you agree."

Hiruzen placed a hand on her shoulder. "You may take the rest of the day to think about. We have guards stationed outside your room in case whoever attempted the attack returns."

"Thank you." She bowed her head from her sitting position.

The men left and quickly taking their place were Iruka and Mizuki. Like every instance something serious happened, no one seemed to speak for a long time. Kotone wanted to shrink under Mizuki's glare, Iruka's look of hurt.

She wished she wasn't bed ridden because running away seemed like a solid option.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Iruka broke the silence, taking a step forward. When she didn't respond, he curled his hands. "Why didn't you tell us, Kotone! You could've died!"

"Tell you what." She muttered.

"You never play dumb, that's what we do." Mizuki was curt. "So why didn't you tell us you had hemophilia?"

"I didn't want you guys to think I was weak."

"Weak? You've always been the strongest out of the three of us, how could we think you're weak?"

"Or that I needed extra protection. Every little injury would have you freaking out over me when that kind of thing gets you killed."

"And hesitating during a fight doesn't?" Iruka asked. "Don't think I've never noticed, every mission we've been on, when we have to fight, you're the best but you seemed nervous at first. If you're scared of bleeding out why do it?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I said _I don't know._ I thought… I don't know what I thought, I really don't."

Kotone's eyes watered. How could she possibly know why? The answer she wanted to give was ever changing, always hypocritical. Her Achilles heel: uncertainty, indecisiveness. The events of the last year left Kotone with no amount of stronger resolve or better understanding, and more than ever she felt completely and totally lost.

Suddenly, Danzo's proposal offered Kotone an escape from it all. Time to figure out everything.

"When we get back to the village and I'm healed, I'm being sent on a co-op mission with jounin." She felt her shoulders fall. Better to lie than let them know it was with ANBU, they'd worry less.

"Jounin? They made you a chunin?" Mizuki raised his brows.

"Yeah."

The white haired boy forced a smile. "Wow that's great! See, why were you worried, I told you that you were the best of us."

"I'll be gone for a while."

"How long?"

"Three months, I think."

Iruka moved forward and set his crutches down before gently wrapping his arms around her. "Kotone, swear you won't hide something like that again."

"...Iruka?"

His voice grew raspy. "I… you and Mizuki are my only family. I don't know what I'd do if one of you guys disappeared forever."

Her fingers curled against him and Mizuki joined in.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. That sentiment was true, she didn't want to drag others down.

Iruka grinned. "Well, Mizuki, ya owe me ten bucks. She got promoted."

Mizuki rolled his eyes with a smile. "Yeah, guess you're right."

"You idiots placed bets on me?"

A second of silence and then giggles erupted from the trio, immediately followed by wincing which only made them smile again.

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 **Oh man, I'm so excited to write the next couple of chapters. I hope you guys are enjoying all of this so far! Thanks so much for reading**


	9. Chapter 9

"Get up." Danzo ordered. "If you want to survive, get up."

Kotone shook as she tried to stand, but collapsed back down onto her stomach. Her fingers trembled uncontrollably. She felt Danzo forcibly lift her face as he glared, his nails digging into her cheeks.

"Are you giving up?" He asked.

"N-no."

He threw her into the ground. "Then get your pathetic, sorry ass up and do it again."

It took the last of her strength to find her feet. Kotone was given no time to think as the ANBU came at her full force. She leapt away willing chakra into her feet and hands, but she needed to be faster, if she was to win, she had to be faster than the person in front of her.

The ANBU, Fox as named by his mask, grabbed her wrist and had her pinned in seconds. Kotone breathed raggedly.

"You're done for the day." Danzo turned away. "See to her medical attention. We'll start again at five a.m."

The table at the back of the room was lined with an infirmary's worth of supplies, and now had an added two crates full of hemoglobin and chakra infused clotting vials. Kotone was only bruised; none of the taijutsu yielded any broken skin just yet, but at the rate she was going, it was a matter of time. She lost count of how many days she had spent like this and Danzo never breathed a word if she was making any sort of improvements or if these hours were worthwhile.

"Fox?" Kotone questioned, wondering if he would respond to the name. Without Danzo to bark at them for interacting, he looked up, so she went ahead. "I can take care of myself today."

"I have orders."

"I'm not really hurt."

"My orders are orders."

"What time is it?"

"Ten p.m."

"I'm hungry." She muttered, "I haven't eaten anything in forever."

"Undress."

No matter how many times they did this, Kotone's face still flushed red. She was left with only her bra and underwear, and she wondered if Fox ever felt uncomfortable constantly having to look at her half naked.

"Any trouble spots?"

"I said no already."

Splotches of deep purple covered her ribs, they hurt like hell and Fox knew it. Her blush deepened at the obvious lie. She heard a sigh from behind the mask. Fox slowly stood and then faced the wall. "Take care of the bruises."

Quietly, she injected the needles and told him she was done. He did a quick once over to check before nodding again so that Kotone could put her clothes back on. After snapping the vest shut, he handed Kotone her mask from the wall. Danzo wanted to watch her expressions during fights, but otherwise she followed the anonymity of all ANBU.

"I'll take you to the mess hall."

"What? Really?"

"Orders were three days without food, the third day is over." Fox started walking then paused. "You would do well to not talk so much, Falcon."

She nodded.

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* * *

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"What is your mother's name?"

Kotone held her head high with a sad attempt of pride. At the slash to her face, she bit down on the inside of her cheek. It had been the hardest two months of her life. When it wasn't combat training, she endured hours of torture and interrogation. _Never show weakness._ The words play over and over in her head, don't let information slip, don't make a sound, don't ever let the enemy know they were breaking you.

"Pour it."

She took a last breath of air, but it was soggy, droplets of water already filling her nose. Within minutes her lungs were on fire, each breath painful and shallower than the last. A screech inched its way up her throat, but she forced it away, sheer desperation keeping her from losing her mind.

Danzo waved a hand and she was tossed up into a sitting position, rag removed from her face. "Your mother's name, what is it?"

It was the eighteenth time they had asked, the eighteenth time that day that they had put her on the verge of drowning.

Before she could stop the words from slipping out, she gurgled. "Go to hell."

A smile etched itself onto his face. "Very well, Falcon. You're done for the day."

Kotone gulped in air.

"Lord Danzo." She spoke hesitantly, the words raspy and sore. He paused just before he reached the door. "You said you had information on my parents- do you know why was my mother killed?"

She went through more genjutsu than she could count, more than she imagined she would in a lifetime, and each one showing her friends dying in the most grueling ways: captive and beaten, broken beyond recognition, and now, now she was annoyed. She had been promised answers from every which way and all came up empty.

"Your father's selfishness."

She leaned forward just a tad, selfish wasn't a word she had heard used to describe him. Fox held back a sigh at her attempt to hide the eager behavior... she just couldn't help herself. "And who was he?"

Danzo's eyes were cold as he whipped around. "I'll tolerate this insubordination of yours today as I'm sure your brain is lacking oxygen. I told you on your first day that it is not your place to ask trivial questions nor will I humor you with the idea that you are to know such information."

With that he left the room in a ringing silence. Danzo didn't mind her talking back, it was nearly beaten out of her and she sure as hell was becoming ruthless. The gash across Fox's arm from a spar earlier in the day proved that.

Fox stood beside the chair, untying the leather straps holding Kotone down. His movements were slow, and even his lack of words weighed heavy in the air making Kotone unsettled as she rubbed her wrists. Even without seeing his face, she sensed his apprehension.

"What?" Kotone hopped out of her seat, wobbling a little as she reached for her mask.

He was too good to show a reaction, physically anyway.

She repeated more forcefully. "What?"

Fox didn't turn to look at Kotone. "You should really stop talking so much."

A snort came from her. "You say that like you care."

"Falcon, there is a lot of shit in this world you don't understand. You obviously joined ANBU with a reason, but you can't just blatantly demand answers. You're a shinobi, you have to look beyond what's on the page. And on top that, you make a fine habit of pissing Danzo off."

"Not on purpose." She muttered.

Fox sighed, it was heavy and extremely tired sigh. He couldn't get it through her head that silence was safest. Watching over Kotone was a task he sometimes wished he hadn't been given. "You have tomorrow off."

"Oh, alright." She said, then reached her hand out to grab his arm. "I don't think I've thanked you for helping me train."

"It's my orders to help you in any way I can."

"Yeah, but…"

The boy- maybe man, Kotone actually had no idea and it made her stop. Who was this person who was stuck to her side? It wasn't as if ANBU were forbidden from seeing or knowing another ANBU.

"Your training will be over soon." He cut her off. "I assume the reason I was sent to help you is that they intend to have us partner up when the mission comes."

"Wait, you're a part of the recon thing?"

"Yes. A team must know each other's strengths and weaknesses."

"But then why-"

" _Falcon_."

They were trained to remain as emotionless as possible, monotonous in speech; Fox didn't raise his voice, he didn't sound angry, but there was tension behind his words that made Kotone freeze.

"Stop talking. Stop asking questions."

"Right."

"Enjoy your day off."

"...Right."

.

* * *

.

Kotone should've been relieved to be given her first break from isolation in months, but instead she was restless. Civilian clothes left her feeling naked, every movement from any shinobi in her village could be against her, she heard a lot, saw almost everything: the twig that snapped under an Academy student's foot, the uneasy breathing of a man stumbling out of a bar as a midday drunk.

No average shinobi would notice those things and Kotone realized that _this_ was made them ANBU. Not the vest, or the mask, or directly following the Hokage, but the constant paranoia and inability to trust anyone even within their own home. The smiles people greeted her with seemed so incredibly fake she found her fingers linger over her pouch as she walked.

Her feet dragged their way along the road. The best way to disappear was to fade into the crowd, making the marketplace equally heaven and hell. For every disadvantage a crowd offered, it at least let Kotone become no one discernable, nothing more than another passing face in the place Hidden Leaf shinobi called home.

Kotone slipped into the side store with waves of caution, every nerve on edge being around so many easily accessible weapons.

"Hey, whatcha looking for?"

"New set of standard issues, an order was placed for me a week ago, order number 1310."

"Ah, yeah," The shop owner smiled, unfazed by the scribble next to the order noting it as ANBU, "It's in the back, let me go grab it for ya, young lady."

She raised a brow as he vanished at the sight of a little hand reaching upward at a shelf across the store. Slowly, she walked toward the two pig tails jumping up and down. The girl froze at Kotone's clearing of her throat, and Kotone found a wide pair of doe eyes staring at her.

"Do your parents know you're in here?"

"Uh uh." She shook her head no.

"I think that's a little sharp for you." Kotone stated her eyes flickering to the double serrated shuriken on the wall.

"Nuh uh, I like it."

"You like that it's sharp?"

"Yeah. It's…" She furrowed her eyes hard in concentration then thinking of the word affirmed with a grin, "cool."

Kotone almost laughed. It made its way up as a silent shake of the shoulders; she guessed she thought weapons were cool when she was around three or four as well. That was when parents or whoever was around started prodding to see if the child would be sent to the academy

The man reappeared. "Alright, got your stuff young lad-" He stopped midsentence with demeanor changing completely. "You! You're the little brat who's been stealing stuff from my store!"

Catching her arm, Kotone raised her brows again at the girl who blushed heavily. "Stealing is bad."

"I don't got any money." Her worlds fumbled.

"Get out of here." The man growled at the little one. Kotone let go and watched her make a bee-line out of the store.

He sighed irritated. "Damn orphans, they're always running in here without money and then expect me to just let them play with this stuff!"

Kotone froze. "She's an orphan?"

With a wave he kept talking. "Nothing wrong with being an orphan, just bad for business and no one to corral them out of here but me. I have a business to run, I'm not a baby sitter."

"Is she in here a lot?"

"That one? Practically every day."

As Kotone counted her money out on the counter, she caught the girl peeking back in. "Does she have a preference for stuff?"

"Can't keep her grubby hands away from the scrolls half the time."

She slid an extra wad of cash to him. He looked up surprised.

"Add a beginner's scroll and a sign book."

"Uh… sure."

"Give it to her next time she comes in."

"You don't want to give it to her now?" He nodded at the doorway causing to the girl to hide again.

"No."

Kotone was extraordinarily grateful for her anonymous donor; her wanting to know who it was and why they did such a thing was part of what kept her going, and if this little kid was dead set on weapons, her path was inevitable, so Kotone would give her something to pursue and to stay alive for.

Doing what she had been taught best, Kotone vanished into the streets. She mentally prepared herself for the bird waiting at the training field. Hayabusa promised to work on the Falcon Sage Jutsu again with Kotone, and she was ready to push herself to the limit to get to it.


	10. Chapter 10

_Mission One_

"Now what?" Kotone whispered.

"We send Hayabusa out and wait for Danzo's go ahead." Frog, the third member of the reconnaissance team, nodded approvingly.

"Go ahead for what?"

Fox cringed. Danzo didn't like the new ANBU to know final orders until it was too late to back out.

"This is a shinobi village and we have proof that they want to start a coup d'etat against the Daiymo and defect from the Leaf alliance. We just need permission to wipe them out."

"Wipe them out?"

"Are you stupid or something?" Frog scoffed. "Listen, just get your bird out here and send it back to the village."

Kotone hesitantly swiped her thumb over a kunai and summoned Hayabusa, who was all too unpleased to be used as a messenger animal, but he lessened suspicion. Everyone expected hawks to be in the sky for message delivery but falcons were too wild, unpredictable, and from a distance Hayabusa didn't look out the norm.

Silver eyes stared questioningly at Kotone over what was to come. She shook her head at him and tied the scroll to his leg.

"Make the flight pattern look good, catch a rat or something." Kotone ordered.

"Of course." Hayabusa took off from the branch at a speed that always shocked Kotone's partners.

They waited silently for an hour. Kotone struggled to not clench her fist watching children laugh running around, blissfully unaware of the impending massacre to come. Their parents' rebellion would cost them all their lives and they were none the wiser.

"Falcon." Fox murmured. "It's us or them, our village depends on our mission."

At first sight of Hayabusa's return and the green ribbon tied to his foot, the trio leapt to action. The sun was setting, and a warm glow in the air quickly became replaced by the sounds of screams. The humidity seemed blanket over, sweat beading down Kotone's face while blood splashed against her mask. She struggled to catch her breath as each pant fell in sync with a slash or strategic aim at a vital organ, but even the most precise attacks didn't mean a quick death.

Bodies piled high of men and women choking on their own blood, desperately trying to stand up only causing their death to come quicker. She pretended not to see the dead children that Frog easily cut down.

Kotone leapt away from one man who was crying, set on dying in a vain. Fleetingly she considered letting him kill her and that hesitation brought a kunai whirring past her mask.

"All… All you Hidden Leaf are the same, you think you're better than us nobody villages." He snarled. "What gives you the right to destroy our home!"

Words spoken to her every day for months came out of her mouth mechanically. "Orders."

Fox cut his throat from behind.

She wished they'd give up, stand down and let it be over quickly, but it was a pointless thing to wish for; she never stood down and certainly wouldn't stand by and watch her own home be destroyed like this. Kotone was hypocrite and she hated it.

She wandered into one of the houses sensing a weak pulse of chakra, her body freezing on sight. A little boy cradling a newborn was quietly shushing him; he looked at her wild with fear and pulled the baby closer to him. Kotone raised a shuriken and immediately felt her hand lower, eyes drifting to the back door.

"Get out." Kotone said. "Fucking run and don't look back."

The boy nodded scrambling up and whispered. "Thank you."

He had nothing to thank her for, she just murdered his family.

She moved stagnantly away from the house, watching him run down the road, everything to follow happened in slow motion. A shuriken raked across his calves knocking him down and sent the baby rolling away screeching. The boy screamed when senbon pierced the little one and he barely had time to turn around before Frog pulled the senbon from the baby flung them into his neck all too easily.

Kotone saw his eyes morph from a sickening sense of freedom to shock as he collapsed to the ground like a doll, handing still reaching out the baby.

"Falcon." Frog said plainly, "No survivors, remember?"

She didn't remember falling to her knees, but she suddenly found Fox yanking her up. The touch was rough, like Danzo's, his hand digging into her arm. It was the first time Kotone had seen Fox so serious. He was reprimanding her, but she found the words drowned out by her daze.

For all intended purposes, Kotone didn't expect herself to feel this numb. The second the two children died, any last remorse turn into absolute nothing. She understood. Everything was routine, expected to be carried out flawlessly. Do her job, protect her team, and survive for the village; nothing more and nothing less.

And Fox noticed that realization. The true weight of what she had to carry finally hit her shoulders. In a matter of three hours, the blood on Kotone's hands stained her skin in a way that no matter how hard she would scrub, it would never come off.

They were quick to light up the village, their masks barely covering the scent of smoke and burning bodies.

Amber flames melted into the evening skyline. Kotone would almost call it beautiful if not for what caused it.

Fox informed Frog and Kotone that they were going to an inn to rest before the day trip back home.

.

* * *

.

Upon their arrival, Frog and Fox roomed together leaving Kotone alone.

She stood in front of the mirror leaning on the sink looking at a foreign person. _She should care_. She should have been weeping, but not a single tear would shed.

Hours and hours ticked by with Kotone staring, a hand pressed against the reflective surface all too cold to her burning touch. Hayabusa appeared on his own, his talons clicking on the floor.

"Kotone."

A tremor went through her body.

"Kotone."

"Go." She ordered softly.

"Kotone." He repeated. "Look at what they have done to you."

"I signed up for this."

"Then quit."

"No."

"Kotone-"

" _I signed up for this._ " Her voice was harsh. "There's no way I won't come across that bastard who took mom and I'm nearly on his level now. Don't you get it, I made my decision, there is no going back, there is no forgiveness for any of this. What other purpose do I have to serve other than this? I have no family. All I've got is a village and my life to give, that's it."

"You have Mizuki and Iruka." Hayabusa argued.

"I'm doing this to protect them."

"Is this because of those genjutsu? Kotone, no enemy will go as far to kidnap them, it is what Lord Danzo has done to keep you from defecting."

Her fingers fell to curl around the rim of the sink, chakra surging through her body until the porcelain cracked. "I'm better off staying away from them. I have no plans of quitting, Haya, and they wouldn't understand."

She didn't bother to say _they_ were the two who wouldn't forgive her.

"Is this really who you wish to be?"

"It's who I have to be. You can't tell me who I am and I don't know, so I'll be whoever I need to be to find out."

He was silenced by the truth. Hayabusa had gone to many pleading for permission to tell Kotone, but they told him no. They didn't want her to know and they didn't care that this was what she was becoming. Hayabusa had seen a million young shinobi fall into the pit of ANBU, eaten alive by their own guilt until an emotionless soldier remained.

"Very well, Mistress. I will come when you call."

Kotone eventually moved to the thin cot on the floor, unable to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, bloodied faces and screams faded in and out, some the villagers, her mother's, the little boy whose hope was yanked away. Her dreams were nightmares painted red. With a humorless chuckle she stared out the window.

Kakashi Hatake made a lot of sense now.

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 **This was supposed to be a lot longer (like... a looot longer), but I was struggling to get the rest of it where I wanted it so it'll be split up into another chapter or two. Didn't want you guys to wait longer for something new haha. And very very big thank you's to RainbowBright333, Onepiecelover4ever, and Cimile for leaving such kind reviews**


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